Happiness can best be achieved by changing our inner, rather than outer, world. We need to train our mind to not let bad emotions get into us, like anger, jealousy, etc. We need to train our mind to love, to be connected with, and to be compassionate for other people. Our inner world translates how we perceive our outer world, which will always have something we don’t like in it. The problem with pleasure as a source of happiness, is that it has too many stipulations (time, duration, amount, it’s temporary, we get bored of X, etc.).
Venting fuels rather than soothes anger.
Seek your optimal level of stimulation (from the environment) for optimal happiness and productivity.
When we are more attentive to our surroundings, we become less attentive to our thoughts and emotions. What this means is that even a simple act of consciously looking at the surroundings is enough to make us less attentive to our thoughts and emotions. Starved of attention, our intrusive thoughts and emotions will recede and the underlying neural processes will slowly weaken over time.
“As an imperfect person, you will make mistakes in life,” the article stated. “Face it. You will hurt people sometimes, you will have regrets. It’s part of living in a less-than-perfect world. But you have a choice. Either your past will keep you in a rut of guilt and shame… or you will accept it for what it is and experience the freedom to move on and enjoy the now.”
The fact is our brains aren’t wired to be happy; they’re wired to keep us safe. That’s why left to its own devices the brain isn’t going to be aware of all the good that is around.
Whether it is the neurophysiological perk of novelty, the feeling of mastery, or the success of pushing beyond our own expectations, risk-taking to explore the unknown, particularly when it is balanced with familiar feel good choices, is life enhancing.
Our external environment predicts 10% of our happiness. Must change the way we perceive. Method: write 3 things you are grateful for a day and messages to people in gratitude.
Stay present and honed in on the present moment for optimal happiness and performance.
Happiness equals 50% set point (changed through mediation, positive thoughts, etc.) + 20% life conditions + 30% voluntary actions (helping others).
As the meaning of life and happiness is (arguably) human connection and love, follow the guidelines below as best you can:
1.Be vulnerable: let yourselves be seen, deeply seen
2.Love with your whole heart, despite it’s challenges/risks
3.Practice gratitude, lean into joy
4.Believe your are good enough, as this leads us to be kinder to ourselves and others.
Integrated life: Doing something that doesn’t feel like work. No longer see boundaries between work and play and enjoyment. Life not delineated.
Want what you have (not what you don’t have).
Retirement does not lead to happiness. Rather:
2.Structure (why you wake up and what you have to work on)
3.Stimulation (learning and challenge)
4.Social contribution (a part of something bigger than yourself)
Personal growth (in all areas) and contribution to others are all you need for constant success and happiness. Wrapped in gratitude.
Living in the same place as the people you love matters. I probably have 10X the time left with the people who live in my city as I do with the people who live somewhere else.
Priorities matter. Your remaining face time with any person depends largely on where that person falls on your list of life priorities. Make sure this list is set by you—not by unconscious inertia.
Quality time matters. If you’re in your last 10% of time with someone you love, keep that fact in the front of your mind when you’re with them and treat that time as what it actually is: precious.
HONESTY AND HAPPINESS: Happiness comes from presence (which you can get through Buddhism, cognitive therapy, etc.). When you are not honest in the moment, you have to keep a separate thread of what you are saying vs. what you are thinking, and maintaining this pulls you out of being present. Be honest and open to be more engaged and present and happy!
Happiness comes from the PURSUIT of your ideal self, not the results themselves since as soon as they are attained, your brain will move the goal post out farther. Constantly have something to work towards, without over analyzing the desired results as to how they will help or improve your life (as Steve Jobs said, you can always string your past experiences together after the fact to justify and explain where you are today).
Positive thinking habits that will make a HUGE life impact to make you more of an optimistic person, happier, and therefore more productive (2 minutes a day, pick one)
1.Say or write 3 NEW Things you are grateful for in past 24 hours.
2.Pick a good thing in past 24 hours and bullet point out every detail in that event.
3.Write a thank you / gratitude email to someone.
We never really get used to that which brings us shame, such as something that reminds of when we were bullied. This is why plastic surgery has actually been shown to increase happiness to some degree, and it can remove/reduce the shame.